ESPN.com: Page 2 : 2005, it was a very good year

ESPN.com: Page 2 : 2005, it was a very good year: "March 17: The congressional hearings on steroids in sports continue in explosive fashion when a passionate Rafael Palmeiro swears that he is not now, nor ever has been, a member of the Communist Party, and Mark McGwire stubbornly refuses to name his sources in the Valerie Plame case."

The Word on Johnny Damon

ESPN.com: Page 2: "If there's a silver lining on Johnny leaving the Idiots, it's that maybe I will be able to go to Fenway without having to sit next to That Girl. You know her. She's the one wearing her pink Sox hat and pink Sox shirt, whose only commentary on the game consists of, 'Is that Johnny? He's like soooo hot,' followed by a comment on his obscenely shiny hair.

This not only makes for an annoying game, but it makes the rest of us girls look bad. Can it, That Girl. I expect you will all relocate to Gillette Stadium, where you can talk about Tom Brady's ass in those pants all you want.

Besides, who'd want to go home with Scrawny Johnny when you could have a Big Papi?
-- Emily, Charlotte, NC"

Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily: "'I was coming to work this morning, and they're playing Christmas music on the radio, and they were playing that song, 'He knows when you've been sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows when you've been bad or good ...' So apparently Santa works for the National Security Agency.' --Jay Leno
"

Gawker’s 123 Reasons to Love New York Right Now - Gawker

Gawker’s 123 Reasons to Love New York Right Now - Gawker: "30. Because we know Sex and the City is a crock of shit.

31. Because we know Friends is a crock of shit."

Fark Quote of the Day

FARK.com: (1815808) Top 10 reasons why sex at the speed of light is not an advisable form of procreation: "So, Superman is flying around when he sees Wonder Woman laid out sunning herself nude. He decides to have a little fun. He swoops down, makes love to her, and flies away so fast she can hardly tell what has happened.

'What was THAT?' Wonder Woman asks? The Invisible Man says, 'I don't know, but my ass is KILLING ME!'

/obvious"

More Brett Favre

ESPN.com: Page 2 : The mail and the Rocket: "Q: I can't believe I heard this, but Paul Maquire said on Sunday night that he can think of ONLY one QB you don't want to give the ball back to in a tie game with 2 minutes left -- Brett Favre!!!! Has he heard of Tom Brady? Hasn't Favre thrown about 75 game killing INT's in the past few years? With this in mind, what are the 5 worst announcer comments this year?
--Tom B., Duxbury, MA

SG: Not only did I hear the same comment, I remember thinking to myself, 'Does he mean that you don't want to give Favre the ball in a tie game if you're a Packers fan?' Unbelievable. With the way broadcasters treat Favre these days -- and it's not just the Sunday night guys, it's everyone -- we may have to change the phrase 'treating him with kid gloves' to 'the Favre Treatment.' For years now, Favre has basically been the white Aaron Brooks -- does all the same dumb things, makes the same dumb throws, snatches defeat from victory the same number of times, but puts up surprisingly good stats year after year. Only everyone piles on Brooks and makes excuses for Favre. Hmmmmm. I'd say more here, but I'm violating Scoop Jackson's Page 2 territorial rights.

By the way, in my 'Top Gun/NFL' preview before the 2003 season, I gave Favre the quote, 'Wait a second ... you were in a 4G inverted dive with a MIG-28?' with the following explanation: To Brett Favre, firmly entrenched in the 'Marino in the mid-'90s' stage of his career. In other words, he's just great enough to win some games on his own, not quite as great as he used to be, and unable to accept the fact that he isn't quite as great as he used to be. So he forces balls in big spots, tries to do too much, and invariably ends up killing the Packers against good teams. And it has been happening for three seasons now. And counting. Now we're wrapping up Year Six. And counting. I find this interesting.)"

SI.com - Writers - More Mailbag - Friday December 16, 2005 12:03PM

SI.com - Writers - More Mailbag - Friday December 16, 2005 12:03PM: "Andrew of Somerville, Mass., is sick of all the excuses and soft treatment the network guys heap on Brettt Favre. Nothing's ever his fault, Andrew says. The receiver slipped, Brett's hand was wet, the moon was out of alignment, you name it. You know, I've been thinking about this. Forget the TV people. They're hopeless, but let's dwell on the matter of why it's all gone blooey for Favre. He can still wing it. He can run -- sort of. I mean he's not hobbling out there. Give him some receivers and another lineman or two, and here's the real snapper ... and a coach who won't back down when in Brett's almighty presence, and will really work on every aspect of his game, including the decision making and I think we might see a remarkable comeback. But I feel the same way as I did during the last days of Woody Hayes. As long as the negatives keep getting reinforced, he's receiving no favors. You don't get better when everyone keeps making excuses for you."

SI.com - Writers - Power Ranks (cont.) - Wednesday December 14, 2005 11:15AM

SI.com - Writers - Power Ranks (cont.) - Wednesday December 14, 2005 11:15AM: "When I die and go to hell, hell will be a Brett Favre game, announced by the ESPN Sunday night crew, for all eternity."

A Ground Zero Grows in Los Angeles - New York Times

A Ground Zero Grows in Los Angeles - New York Times: "A Ground Zero Grows in Los Angeles"

funny air traffic controllers quotes

funny air traffic controllers quotes: "A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower noted: 'American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport.'"

FYI

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF: "HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF"

Starting a New Chapter in Her Life, Thanks to Richard Clarke

Starting a New Chapter in Her Life, Thanks to Richard Clarke: "'There will always be lesbians on this show. I make this vow to you. As long as I'm breathing, there will be lesbians. I will give the people lesbians because there is nothing sexier in this world than two women getting it on.'

-- Howard Stern, discussing his move from the public airwaves to satellite radio with Fox's Bill O'Reilly in a two-part interview airing tonight and tomorrow. Plus ca change, plus c'est la mme chose. But what about luffas?"

Put Christ in Christmas or Wherever Else He Belongs - Wonkette

Put Christ in Christmas or Wherever Else He Belongs - Wonkette: "Put Christ in Christmas or Wherever Else He Belongs"

Iraq's Courtroom Drama

Iraq's Courtroom Drama: "But there's one body of American know-how we've successfully managed to impart: how to stage a Trial of the Century."

Quote of the Day

Drew Curtis' FARK.com: " Binyamin Netanyahu: If elected, I will not hesitate to order a pre-emptive strike on Iran. Nobody puts Bibi in a corner"

Don't be evil

What Google Should Roll Out Next: A Privacy Upgrade - New York Times: "Google operates according to two core principles. One is its mission 'to organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful.' The other is its motto, 'Don't be evil,' which Mr. Brin and Mr. Page take so seriously that they included it in a Securities and Exchange Commission filing."

SI.com - Writers - The 10 Spot: Dec. 2, 2005 - Friday December 2, 2005 9:58AM

SI.com - Writers - The 10 Spot: Dec. 2, 2005 - Friday December 2, 2005 9:58AM: "6. The Sharks swung a major blockbuster Wednesday night, trading for Joe Thornton of the Bruins. The NHL's fan was shocked.
-- Josh, Ottawa"

ESPN.com: Page 2 : Mailing in the NFL's Week 13

ESPN.com: Page 2 : Mailing in the NFL's Week 13: "Vikings (-2.5) over LIONS
Long live the Ewing Theory! By the way, here's a provocative e-mail from Al in Lindewood, New Jersey: 'Am I the only one who thinks the Joey Harrington situation has gotten to the point where we might actually see a 'Private Pyle' moment from Full Metal Jacket. You know, Matt Millen wanders into the locker room, can't find Harrington and then goes into the bathroom only to see his QB loading the rifle and calling out the wide receiver progressions to various plays?'"

ESPN.com: Page 2 : Mailing in the NFL's Week 13

ESPN.com: Page 2 : Mailing in the NFL's Week 13: "By the way, Danny is the fourth Real World cast member with a horrible Boston accent, a hair-trigger temper and an IQ of 45, yet they refuse to put the female equivalent on the show -- the gum-snapping, frizzy-haired chick from Saugus who still wears Bourque jerseys and Jordache jeans; dates a guy who's failed the state trooper test four times and now is allegedly making six figures selling real estate; says stuff like, 'I'm not nearly as much of a slut as I used to be'; brags about winning two grand at Wonderland once; claims she once made out with Derek Lowe; and flips out if you mistakenly think she's from Revere. Why hasn't that girl been cast on the show yet? Thirteen years and counting and that demo hasn't been tapped once?"

SI.com - Writers - Dr. Z: Why should the crowd be able to affect a game? - Thursday December 1, 2005 9:33AM

SI.com - Writers - Dr. Z: Why should the crowd be able to affect a game? - Thursday December 1, 2005 9:33AM: "This crowd noise thing can go to ridiculous extremes. I was watching my school, Columbia, play Brown a couple of weeks ago. The first time Brown had a first down, one of the CU defensive players started waving his arm for crowd noise. I laughed so hard I practically hit the floor. Crowd noise? There were about 800 students, probably half of them not watching the game, in Lawrence A. Wien Stadium (cap.17,000) that day. They couldn't have drowned out a feaking cricket. But that was the mentality of the defensive player. Kind of an inbred thing."

Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily: "'In his speech President Bush said we need to rebuild Iraq, provide the people with jobs, and give them hope. If it works there maybe we'll try it in New Orleans.' --Jay Leno"

ESPN.com: Page 2 : Cowher outcoached, L.T. no Earl

ESPN.com: Page 2 : Cowher outcoached, L.T. no Earl: "Mike Sherman probably deserves to be fired in Green Bay, but his replacement is going to have a very, very difficult job because of Brett Favre's legend.

Packers fans and Favre's fans in the media are reluctant to put any blame for the Packers' dismal performance on Favre's undisciplined play. The Packers (2-9) have lost seven one-score games. Several of the losses could've been avoided had Favre not thrown so many boneheaded interceptions.

The Packers had a chance to rally for a late score against the Eagles, but for some reason Favre flung the ball into the end zone and was intercepted. There was plenty of time on the clock to try to move down the field 10 or 15 yards at a time.

It was a totally stupid play by Favre, and the decision couldn't be justified by all of the injuries to Favre's receivers. Favre has lacked patience and has made rookie mistakes. He appears to be uncoachable, and fawning fans and media only accentuate the problem."

Media Notes Extra

Media Notes Extra: "Slate's John Dickerson examines why McCain is one Republican who doesn't have to keep his distance from W.:

'McCain can embrace Bush without being hurt by the affiliation because voters think he's winking as he does it. McCain's fans see his stumping for Bush and his policies as completely pro forma and insincere. 'I genuinely like him,' McCain insists to friends, referring to Bush. Remembering how roughly Bush treated him in the 2000 primaries, the friends don't believe the senator, either

'Heightening the paradox is that McCain's nomination for sainthood is based largely on his reputation for unorthodox candor. In this case, the McCain crowd thinks he is so candid he can't possibly be telling the truth. And so he is free to make a show of embracing Bush, whereas politicians with no special reputation for honesty are taken at their word when they make patently insincere gestures of shunning the president. McCain has reversed the political gravity. When Bush's approval ratings go down, other politicians fear being dragged down with him. For McCain, the worse things get for Bush, the nobler his helping hand appears.'"